Surviving the Island
by Angelic Pink
Summary: Another survivor recalls the events on the Island, which reveals betrayal, hidden secrets, lies, death and a very mysterious past.
1. The Crash

**Lost… **

Okay. Don't flame me right, this is my first ever lost fic. It might be crap but so what! At least I tried . Oh and I also have only just started watching Lost (I live in England you see)

_What's going on… where am I…What am I doing here…_ Those were the only thoughts that were on her mind. The only things she wanted to think about because...if her mind wandered for anymore than her second, the horrific images of the Oceanic Flight 815 would come back and haunt her.

She could hear noises. Screaming…yelling and the sound of an engine? Opening her eyes she found herself looking directly at an azure blue sky with the hot Sun beating down upon her face. She leant up on her elbows and saw people running around in all directions along with the debris of the Plane crash. A girl with blonde hair screamed loudly and then more screams came as the engine suddenly stopped and the passengers near it began to flee from it.

Her name was Jade Thompson, a nineteen year old University student working on Forensic Science. She didn't exactly like to talk about her past, not even to her own friends. She like everyone else around her is shrouded in mystery.

Jade stood up and felt her cheek where a few cuts were issuing blood. She ignored them and let her arm drop down by her waist. Looking around she saw a pregnant girl who looked like she was in pain, sitting beside a rather large guy. She seemed in good hands. She looked around to see if there was anything she could do but was interrupted by a man. "Ur…Hey have you got a pen by any chance?" He asked hopefully. "No…But I could help you look for one? What's your name?" She asked. "Boone. The name's Boone. Oh, and I'd be grateful if you could help me look for a pen." He said smiling and he began walking. "Ok…I'll call you when I find a pen!" Jade called after him. She had felt a tiny little fluttering feeling in her stomach when she had been looking at him, looking into the piercing blue eyes…

"MOVE, MOVE, MOVE! GET HER UP! GET HER OUTTA THERE!" Yelled a voice to her left. She turned around in time to see a man moving directly towards the pregnant woman and the large beefy man. Hearing a deafening creak she looked up and saw the wing of the Plane move dangerously above them. Her heart seemed to stop and everything else seemed to move in slow motion. Looking down again she saw them both look up and then began to run whilst the wing moved and fell apart from the Plane, crashing down upon them and causing an explosion. Jade dived out of the way and landed into the soft sand, getting mouthful of it too.

"Hey…Hey are you okay?" Came a voice just above her. Coughing and spluttering out the sand she raised her head and looked straight into those piercing blue eyes. _Boone…!_ She stood up and began to wipe herself down smiling. "Yeah…Fine." She said laughing. He laughed along with her and glanced at the three others. "Man that was close. They could have been dead by now." Boone said shaking his head. "I wonder if we will get rescued." Jade was wondering the same thing. She shrugged her shoulders and looked around. "So many survived. Did you find a pen?" She asked turning back to him and smiling. Boone shook his head. "Not yet. I can't believe half of the survivors haven't got pens!" He said laughing. Jade smirked. "Hey. It's not a necessity you know!" They both laughed but were interrupted by another female with short blonde hair. "BOONE!" She screamed and wrapped her arms around him. Boone looked slightly taken aback and pulled her away. "Sh…Shannon! Oh god!" He said, his voice sounded grateful and relieved. Not wanting to be apart of this _happy moment_ Jade decided to sneak away from them.

She walked along the beach, trying to find a part where she could be away from the tragedy of the Plane crash, which was going to be hard since the debris was… well everywhere. Finally, she found somewhere to sit and she flopped down onto the sand, looking out into the ocean, which lapped gently at the sand. Jade began to think about everything that had occurred that day. It had all seemed so fast. Then the fact that they may not be rescued. _Don't think about that yet. A rescue team may appear tomorrow!_ She raised her left hand and rested it on her cheek. She was interrupted once again. "Want to be alone already?" Jade turned her head and saw Boone leaning against one of the trees leading into the jungle. She smiled at him. "Why did you sneak off?" She didn't answer straight away but she looked out into the ocean for another minute. "I didn't want to spoil your reunion." She answered simply. She heard footsteps and then Boone sat down beside her. "You weren't spoiling the reunion. She…She's just my sister you know."

Jade suddenly felt a little happier. _And I thought she was his girlfriend? _"But I was still there. I was still interrupting." She added, shrugging. "Look…I was just glad to see Shannon. You'd be the same, right?" Jade thought for a second and nodded in agreement. "Yeah. I suppose." Boone smiled. "Then it's sorted. Come on…Are we going back?"

Turning to face him, she smiled back but shook her head. "I prefer it here, just for the moment. It's quiet. Peaceful. I couldn't bare the screaming and agony." She explained lowering her head. Boone sighed. "Yeah. Me too." He turned his posture towards the ocean just like her.


	2. Something in the Jungle

**Lost: A Survivor's Tale**

**Chapter 2: Something in the Jungle**

_I know this notebook is for my forensic notes but I there is nothing to do here that would help me along the forensic career, so instead. I'm going to use this as a diary sort of thing. Anyway_

_Diary,_

_After the crash, I met a lot of people on the island. They all seem pretty nice. There's Claire. She's pregnant… I don't how she could cope, it must be terrible. Hugo…Well he prefers to be called Hurley. Jack, he's the doctor and the almost immediate leader. Charlie…I think I can remember him from a failing band but there is also Kate Austin, John Locke, Shannon, Michael and Walt. Walt is only a child so I hope his dad, Michael will take care of him. Oh and there's a Korean couple that don't speak English….Great._

_  
Boone. That's the person I really want to get to know. He was the first one to speak to me, but he's really sweet, cute too. His sister Shannon, well she seems one of those self-centred girls, you know. The skinny blonde girl in the several hundred mini skirts that she seems to own. Not much to talk about now…Bye._

_Jade Thompson_

"What you writing?" Came a female voice from behind her. Jade quickly closed the notebook and turned her head towards the culprit and found Claire's cheery face smiling at her. Jade put the notebook inside her bag and smiled back. "It's a note-pad in which I can keep all my Forensic stuff in." She explained. Claire nodded to mark that she understood and then sat down beside her. "Jack's been looking through the stuff on the Plane. See if there is anything of use…" Jade nodded and then looked out to the ocean again. She had been doing this a lot since they had crashed here. "Do you think anyone's going to come?" Jade asked, wanting an honest answer. Claire was silent for a few moments before saying; "I think so and hope so. If not…were in deep trouble you know. Were going to run out of food someday." She said simply before standing up. "Well, I'm going to get some water…Want some?" Jade managed to tear her eyes away from the water and nodded. "Yes please."

When Claire left, Jade stood up and traced her steps but turned away into the edge of the jungle. She wondered why nobody had been in there yet. _Probably because they are waiting for a rescue team._ Yeah. That was probably it. She just wanted to be alone and she knew she'd hardly get any privacy sitting around in public. She sighed and walked into the dense jungle. The heat from the Sun on the beach seemed to lessen slightly when she walked in but it was still muggy. Not wanting to go too far in, Jade stopped after several paces and slumped down against a tree, yawning. She did feel tired since she hadn't slept very well last night and she could feel her eyes itching to close…until finally she gave in, falling into a deep sleep.

Opening her heavy eyes, it seemed to of made no difference. The jungle seemed so black…so dark. She raised her hands to her eyes and began to rub them, it still made no difference. It was obviously night-time. Standing up and using the tree for support she walked back up the way she came down. Jade walked out on to the Beach to find it full of worried people, all looking utterly terrified at the jungle. It seemed that no-one had really noticed her come out at all.

"Jade! Get away from there now!" A voice hissed nearby her. The figure grabbed her hand and pulled her away from the jungle. When they had gotten a safe distance away, they both turned around to face the Jungle…to see trees getting ripped from their roots and fall down. Whatever was in there was big… Jade made to take a step back but fell over the figure's foot and landed heavily on the sand. The person looked down at her and she realized for the first time that it was Boone. _Oh god. Now I look like a complete…_ "Here…" He held out his hand again and she grabbed it. He pulled her up and moved her further away from the Jungle.

"I was worried about you. No-one knew where you were so we bombarded Claire with questions and she…We were worried Jade. Why did you just go off like that?" Boone asked. Around half an hour later, after the shocking discovery in the Jungle, Boone and Jade had gone a little down the beach to talk. Jade just shrugged. "I didn't want to get disturbed and if walking into the Jungle was the only way I could rest…then be it." Jade replied simply. Boone looked at her. "If you just told us not to disturb you…" Jade shook her head. "I didn't know what was in the Jungle and neither did you until it started to rip trees up! End of discussion." Jade hissed. She stood up and began to storm off in a bad temper. Boone just stared at her with a confused look on his face.

_Oh great. Now he thinks I'm a ticking bomb that can go off at any second. Well done Jade. Well done_

"Jade! Jade wait up!"

Boone grabbed her shoulder and turned her round so they were facing each other. "I didn't mean to have a go and I am sorry it sounded that way…I was…I was scared Jade. I thought that thing…whatever it is. I thought you were dead." An awkward silence met this comment. Jade seemed lost for words and Boone…well it looked as if he was waiting for a reply. Suddenly, Jade flung her arms around Boone's neck and began to cry hysterically on his shoulder. "I'm sorry…I'm so sorry!" Tears streamed down her azure eyes as she continued to cry. Boone looked slightly alarmed and confused at the sudden movement but tried to comfort her all the same. "Shhh…It's ok. You're here now and that's all that matters." He said holding her close to him. Jade looked up at him, her eyes slightly red. "I didn't know…I didn't…" But Boone just shook his head. "I know you didn't." He tightened his grip on her slightly. Jade and Boone stared at each other and Boone began to move his head inwards towards Jade's. Jade did not object as Boone's lips touched her own…In fact it was a wonderful feeling. It was as if a thousand butterflies had erupted through her stomach. She moved her hand and interlocked with his fingers, not daring to break the kiss…


	3. Flashback

**If I use ---- this means a Flashback and I will close them on them too! Enjoy the story and give it a review.**

**Chapter 3 – Flashback**

_Diary,_

_Last night…I will never forget it. One moment I thought he would have never forgiven me for what I did and the next…We were standing their kissing! It's like a dream come true. Really! No one knows it happened but I'm thinking about telling Claire. I mean, were like best friends now even though we don't know each other too well._

_Anyway, when I saw that creature or whatever it was ripping trees up in the Jungle my blood seemed to run cold. My immediate thought was 'It's going to kill us' but then I knew all along we weren't alone on this island. It seemed pretty stupid not to think that. Locke seems to have some freaky connection to the Island. I'm thinking about going to talk to him. He seems to like Walt to; you know…Michael's little kid. He said he lost his dog, Vincent, when the plane crashed…I wonder if he's alive?_

_Jade Thompson_

Jade looked up to see where everyone was. Shannon was once again, lounging around on the beach, trying to catch the Sun's rays. The Korean couple, Sun and Jin, were isolated away from the others. Kate and Jack were deep in discussion and Hurley was sitting by Claire, giving her something to eat, whilst Boone was nowhere to be found.

Jade stood up and stretched her aching limbs. Her eyes were sore since she did not slept well last night…Well how could she? Jade began to walk along the beach and towards the tepid water that lapped up amongst the hot sand and sat down, deep in thought. _There has to be a rescue team coming. They wouldn't just leave us stranded here…would they?_ But something struck her. _What if the Plane crashed for a reason, what if…? What if the passengers who survived, have lived for a reason?_

She had heard Locke talking this way minutes before she wrote her diary entry…To him rather than anything else. "There not coming." She said aloud, looking out to the ocean once more. "There not going to come." She shook her dark head and sighed deeply, bringing her knees up to her chin and wrapping her arms around them. "Were going to be stuck on this island forever. There's no getting off." It felt like everyone one of the survivors had gone silent when she had spoken but instead only one person spoke back.

"Don't say that Jade." A shiver ran up Jade's spine as they spoke. She let go of her legs and stretched them back out on the sand and then turned her head to see who had spoken. Sawyer stood, looking casually at her. His lips had curled into a smirk as he watched her. Rolling her eyes, Jade turned back to the ocean. "I thought you might have been looting by now, Sawyer" Jade said, stifling a yawn. Sawyer gave a small chuckle and shook his head. She could hear his footsteps in the sand move closer to her. "You know me Jade. Wait a while first. Don't want anyone to be suspicious of me yet eh?"

Jade gave a deep cough of disapproval. "Everyone will suspect you were the one stealing everything once you come out with food and fags you idiot. So really, the time will never be right." Jade stood up and turned to face Sawyer who gave her cheeky smile. Jade did not return the smile but rather glared at him. Sawyer shrugged. "I don't know what's gotten into you Jade. You've never been like this." Jade glanced at him and said in an audible tone, "Then you don't really know me."

----

"You coming or what?"

Jade looked up and saw Sawyer standing outside Quick Buy. She sighed deeply. "I'll wait outside. Now hurry up will you!" Sawyer gave her the thumbs up and then disappeared into the shop. Jade stood up and quickly turned away from Quick Buy. She turned back to the glass doors just incase Sawyer was coming. When his face wasn't visible, she quickly crossed the road with-out paying the slightest attention to the coming car. It beeped loudly, Jade froze and turned around but the car was not able to stop in time. A voice shouted "NO!" somewhere behind her and Jade screamed in pain as the car collided with herself. She fell over backwards, hitting her head hard on the concrete, consciousness slipping away…

----

"Well no! I haven't seen you for five years. I couldn't believe it when I saw you. For awhile I didn't think it was actually you Jade. You've changed a lot. You're far prettier than what you used to be." Jade snorted with laughter. "If that's supposed to be a complement you certainly failed there Sawyer." Sawyer gave another chuckle and stood right in front of her. "It's been five years since I seen you. Since you were in the hospital."

----

"Jade? Jade? Can you hear me?"

Jade opened her eyes and found herself laying in bed in a bright room. She raised her arm to shield the light but someone put her hand back down. "Don't worry. You've been unconscious for some time. Your eyes will adjust to the light in no time at all. She could hear voices talking on the right hand side of her but she wasn't able to see them just yet. Instead they were just dark blurs. "Jade. You've been seriously damaged. You were concussed when you hit the floor. You will need to under go another operation."

Jade's vision was slowly coming back. She could see a male smiling at her with a stethoscope hanging around his neck. A doctor. She was in her local hospital. She opened her mouth but the doctor shook his head. "Don't speak, it might be painful." She turned to her right and saw her mother and father continuing to talk and not paying the slightest attention to her. "M…" The doctor turned her head towards him which made her moan in agony. "See. It hurts. Don't talk." He said forcefully, shaking his head. "Mom. Mom!" She called out. Her throat seemed to burn but she wanted her parents so badly.

The doctor shook his head again. "Hush now. You're going to put yourself unconscious." Jade moved her head to the right and saw that he mother had paid no attention to her shouting. A single tear fell down her cheek and she turned to face the doctor.

----

She looked at Sawyer who raised an eyebrow at her. Jade raised her hand and wiped the tear that had fallen when she had remembered that painful memory. "What's wrong?" Sawyer asked but Jade ignored him and began to walk off. Jack, Kate and Charlie had all gone. Claire was sitting alone now and Hurley was nearby the sea.

Jade walked over to Claire who smiled cheerfully at her. Jade returned the smile but barely. Claire recognized that she was upset and as soon as Jade sat down she asked, "Are you okay?" Jade had known this was coming and she put on another false cheery face. "I'm fine. Why shouldn't I be?" She replied happily. Claire knew better than to accept this answer. "There's something wrong and I know it."

Jade shook her head. "I don't feel like talking about it right now…Maybe sometime later, ok?"

----

"Yes. She'll be fine in a few days. Just make sure she doesn't hit her head for awhile ok?" A female said softly. "Yes fine. Can we leave now?" Came another female voice, but this one sounded brisk and firm. Jade looked at her mother and could feel the pain that was aching inside her head subside greatly. Her mother turned to face her. "Come on. Hurry up." She said impatiently. Jade started to walk out of the hospital, turning to face the nurse who looked slightly alarmed and shocked at her mother's behaviour.

"Hurry up! Now! I have business to attend to!" She hissed, forcing Jade into the car. Jade avoided a collision with the seat and managed to put her seatbelt on before he mother started the car. "Where's Dad?" Jade asked her throat seemed terribly sore. Her mother seemed to of ignored her comment and put her foot down on the acceleration. "Mom. I said where is Dad?" She asked again. Her mother clicked her tongue and turned around to face Jade. "None of your business. Now. When we get home your not going to touch anything, go anyway or whatever else you do. Ok? I don't want you damaging yourself anymore than you have done already. And I don't want you to go anywhere because I need to talk to you when I get home." She explained, accelerating a bit more. "Talk to me…Do you mean scream at me! Cause the police to come around again because the neighbours complain?"

It was lucky that their house was near the hospital or her mother would have probably thrown her out of the car. She turned around after she had stopped the car. Her face had gone red with anger. "Get out! GET OUT NOW!" She roared, raising her hand into the air. Jade quickly unbelted herself and ran out of the car, scared to death of what her mother would of done if she had stayed in the car any longer. She shred more tears as her mother drove off…

----

"Jade? Are you listening to me? Jade?" Claire called for her. Jade looked up and smiled at her. "Sorry. Daydreaming." Jade replied shaking her dark head. Claire chuckled. "Yeah, I could tell." Jade gave her a shaky smile and continued to stare into space, with the horrible flashback playing in her head.


	4. Personal Matters

Night had fallen quickly and once again, the Survivors were stranded on the Island for another day. Jade was sat with Claire, but wasn't really talking. She hadn't seen Boone nearly all day, and on another negative note, she couldn't find her pen. Jade sat twirling her hair around her finger when she was disturbed.

"Hey, Jade. I've been looking for you all evening." Jade looked up and sighed as she saw Sawyer leering down at her. He glanced over at Claire to suggest that he wanted privacy. She quickly moved away and sat with Charlie.

Sawyer sat heavily down on the still warm sand and looked over at Jade. "So, you gonna tell me what's been bothering you?"

Jade didn't take long to answer his question. She glared at him and opened her mouth to speak but he laughed it off. "Oh…yeah. It's the fact that _I'm_ here right?" He smirked at her. "It's the fact that you exist actually!" Jade snapped back, making to stand up. Sawyer grabbed her wrist and pulled her back down, whilst glancing around to check for anyone who may of saw. "Look…Jade, we haven't seen each other in awhile. Can't we start afresh?" He whispered in her ear.

Jade snatched her wrist from out of Sawyer's grasp and stood quickly up.

"What so I can be your personal lap-dog again?" She hissed before shooting off down the beach in a flurry of sand. Jade stormed down the beach until she was sure Sawyer wouldn't find her before sitting back down on the sand and staring out to the ocean. _When is help gonna come. I can't bear to spend another second with that looser._ She sighed and then heard something behind her.

Shivers shot down her spine as she heard it get closer to her. She grabbed a nearby log (which was lucky) and gripped it firmly in her hand before slowly getting to her feet. She turned around quickly and was ready to strike the thing, whatever it was, that was creeping up on her.

"Hey! Whoa! Wait!" A familiar voice called out, holding the log firmly upright in Jade's hand, so she wouldn't swing.

"Boone? Boone what are you doing here?" She asked, looking confused and dropping the log. "I saw you storm off from that Sawyer guy, I just came to see what was up?" He asked, looking slightly perplexed in the darkening atmosphere.

Jade looked darkly at him. "Well, I thought you were avoiding me all day." She said rather haughtily, glaring at him. Boone shook his head, which made her even angrier. "I wasn't avoiding you; we just didn't see each other. Why would I want to avoid you?" He asked innocently, holding her shoulder. Jade become slightly warmer towards him. "Sorry, I'm just a little stressed…You know, that Sawyer's such a…"

"I can fill in that blank with so many words." Boone said smirking.

Jade laughed and sat back down on the grainy sand. Boone followed suite and wrapped an arm around her shoulder. "Life's been much better since I saw you on this Island Jade…" He smiled at her and kissed her tenderly. She smiled and leant her head on his shoulder. "And I'm so glad I met you altogether."

"Perhaps we should go back." Boone said, shifting into a more comfortable position. They had been sat there for at least half an hour, talking on the occasion. Jade looked up and just smiled. She had been thinking about her and Sawyer for the past half an hour, the way he had treated her and the way he was treating her now. Perhaps he did want to start afresh, or perhaps he just wanted to treat her like his lap-dog…Stealing for him, taking the blame for him. She looked up at Boone and made to stand up. "Are we going then?" She asked him, clasping her hand in his. They walked slowly down the beach back to the main camp.


	5. Shortage Of Supplies

_Diary,_

_I didn't write in here yesterday since my pen broke…Well I broke it when it stopped working. But good news, Claire managed to find me one which made me smile. She really has helped me through the few days I have been here…What is it? About 4 or 5? Man…It's been awhile._

_Anyway, I had another brilliant night last night. Well, it didn't start off that well since Sawyer came up to me asking for a fresh start. I just don't want to be his 'Jade-The Lap Dog' again. I thought Boone had been avoiding me, turns out that he wasn't, and we spent the night in each others company, but I couldn't help thinking that Sawyer was actually being serious and did want to have a fresh friendship. Oh and about Walt's dog, Vincent. He's alive and apparently in perfect health. He's adorable._

Jade smiled as she finished her diary entry and then put it in her jean pocket. She admired the black ink pen that Claire had found and given her, and felt glad that she could still be able to write even when stranded on an island. The Sun was beating down upon them as usual. She stood up to get some water since she hadn't had any since last night.

She walked over to Jack, who seemed rather frustrated and worried at the same time. He was standing in front of the water bottles (their only water supply).  
"Jack, is there any water? I'm dehydrating here." Jade said, wafting her hand in front of her.

Jack turned to face her, his worried look intensified. "Were running low." He said, scratching the back of his head. Kate, who was nearby, looked at Jack with a similar facial expression and edged towards him, "So what are we gonna do?" Jade asked, trying to get him to look at her, but he was more interested in something in the jungle.

Ignoring Jade completely, Jack started to walk towards the Jungle. "Jack? JACK!" Jade shouted at him as he began to move faster towards wherever he was going to. Kate looked confused as he quickened his pace and completely ignored Jade. Kate looked inside the cooler and saw only around 3 bottles of water which were full. She wiped her fore-head from the sweat which was caused by the heat of the Sun. Jade picked up a bottle and shook her head. "How can any of us drink so much water in just a few days…?" She asked. It was pretty rhetorical so she wasn't waiting for a reply. Instead, she was interrupted by Boone.

"Where's Jack?" Boone asked, looking around. Kate looked up and surveyed the area whilst Jade just dropped the bottle back in with the others. Kate looked slightly worried and took off in the direction Jack had just gone in. Jade looked to Boone. "He wondered off. I think he must have seen something or someone…Whatever." She said shrugging. "He'll be back soon, though." Jade smiled at him and gave him a quick hug, and started walking down the beach towards the ocean as usual.

Jade sat down and looked at towards the azure blue skyline. She still searched for help whenever she had the chance to, which was a lot. No-one really relied on her here. Not even Claire or Boone since they had Shannon and Charlie. She sighed and rubbed her eyes, as well as her fore-head. It was becoming increasingly hotter as the minutes went by, when she turned round to see Kate moving with Michael and Charlie, who were carrying somebody…Claire.  
Jade stood up so quickly she felt slightly dizzy but she ran towards the tent in which they had just moved into.

"Claire? Claire, wake up. Claire? Can you hear me Claire? Come on. Wake up. Please wake up. Please. Come on. Claire can you hear me?" Jade could here Kate talking to her as she entered.

"What happened?" Jade exclaimed as soon as she entered the tent. Charlie was sitting near her, wafting his hand over her. Claire stirred slightly, gaining consciousness and opening her eyes slightly.  
"What…" She said before Kate quickly cut across her.  
"You passed out. Take it easy okay…She needs some water!"

Charlie stood up quickly and ran out of the tent whilst Jade moved to the side of her. "Why…How?" She asked, looking up at Michael and Kate, demanding answers.  
"Must have been the heat. She just…Dropped." Michael said, looking worried as Claire shifted in and out.

Charlie bounded in a minute later looking flustered and annoyed. "The water's gone! Someone's stole it!" He said angrily.

Jade shook her head and quickly ran out of the tent, and sprinted over to where the water bottles were supposedly stored. She picked up empty bottle after empty bottle and then threw them all back in angrily. She figured that only one person would do something like this…

"SAWYER!" She screamed, as she headed towards him a few minutes later. He gave her a cheeky smile and stood up to greet her. "Ahh, so you came to give me a second chance after…" He started but Jade interjected.  
"Don't start giving me all this bull-shit. Where's the water Sawyer?" She yelled, glaring at him. Sawyer looked confused and just stood staring at her like she was insane. "What're you?"  
"I told you not to give me any SHIT! Now where's the god damn water!"

Sawyer shook his head. "Look I don't have a clue what you're talking about, but if you don't mind. I have something's to do." He turned away from her and began walking back to the tree that he had been sitting under to get some shade.

Jade grabbed his shoulder but the next thing she knew she was being forced to the ground. Sawyer forced her shoulders down and sat atop of her. "So, Lap-Dog wants a little action" He said sneering at her as she tried to move. "It's been awhile."  
Jade glared at him. "Where's the water that you stole from the cooler!" She said, still trying to struggle. Sawyer shook his head. "You're not telling me that that's all you want? A couple 'o bottles of water." He said smirking.

"So you admit to having them then." She hissed, trying with all her might to get him off her. "Nope. I'm just saying. You, me, jungle…alone…" He smirked again, loosening his grip on her.  
"Get off me!" She yelled, managing to push him away as he loosened her. She quickly got up and dusted the sand off of her. "You wanted a new start? You blew it!" She spat, turning away from him and storming away.

"Jade? What happened?" Kate asked, as she bumped into Jade. "I heard you shouting?"  
Jade looked up. "Oh it's nothing." She said shaking her head. "Really, it's nothing." She faked a smile. "But Sawyer hasn't got the water…" Jade called as Kate went the same way to get to him. She stopped and turned around. "Then…Who?"  
Jade shrugged her shoulders and instead, went back to see if Claire was okay.  
"Claire? How're you..." She stopped dead in her tracks when she saw three bottles of water…and

"Boone?" She exclaimed, completely taken by surprise. At the same time, Charlie had walked in and went into a fit of rage. He grabbed Boone and forced him out of the tent, forcing him into the sand.

Jade followed him out and just watched as an argument came about, but was stopped nearly immediately by the arrival of Jack, who hadn't been seen nearly all day.

"Leave him alone. It's been 6 days and we're all still waiting. Waiting for someone to come. But what if they don't? We have to stop waiting. We need to start figuring things out. A woman died this morning just going for a swim and he tried to save her, and now you're about to crucify him? We can't do this. Everyman for himself is not going to work. It's time to start organizing. We need to figure out how we're going to survive here. Now, I found water. Fresh water, up in the valley. I'll take a group in at first light. If you don't want to go come then find another way to contribute. Last week most of us were strangers, but we're all here now. And god knows how long we're going to be here. But if we can't live together, we're going to die alone."

Jade took his words to heart and ran towards Boone, helping him up. "Are…Are you okay?" She asked slowly, as he stood up. He nodded and looked over at Jack who was looking quite pale. Jade and Boone walked slowly towards somewhere quiet and sat down. "It's gonna be ok…You know…" She gave him a smile and looked up at the darkening sky.


	6. Hope

_Diary,_

_Well, yesterday was so strange. It seemed as though everybody I really talk to had an accident or an incident of some-sort. Firstly it was Claire fainting because of the heat and lack of water…And then it turns out that Boone was the water thief…_

_Something Jack said yesterday really took me though. How we need to stand together or we would die all alone on this island. But he brought back some great news. He found a water supply._

_Jade_

The heat was becoming unbearable and with the lack of water everyone was becoming dehydrated. Jack, Charlie, Kate and Locke were all going to go in to the jungle and find the water supply that Jack was talking about when he came back from his little walk.

Jade stood up and looked around. Hurley was talking to Claire again and she felt no need to interrupt, in fact, she felt most obliged to just sit there on her own as usual. She felt it much better when she was not in the company of the others.

Boone had been pretty distant with her too. Since she found him with the bottles yesterday he hadn't said another word apart from, "Where's Jack?"  
Somehow Jade thought that this must have been here fault that he wasn't speaking to her. Her head turned to see the two Koreans, keeping themselves to themselves. They hadn't said a word to any of the other survivors since they arrived here.

Jade wiped her fore-head and strode forward. She felt so thirsty that it was becoming hard to concentrate properly. She stumbled slightly but regained her balance and continued down the beach toward the shade of the trees. She knew it wouldn't make much difference but at least it would keep her away from most of the Sun's rays.

As she went to sit down, she looked up to see some commotion going on between the two Korean's. The male, Jin, was shouting something and Sun was continuing to shout his name but he wasn't listening, or just didn't react.

He was moving quickly down the beach to Michael and Walt. Jin moved to a sprint and tackled Walt, hitting him everywhere he could get too. Jade stood up and moved in closer, alarmed at the sudden violence.  
Walt moved in, shouting at him to stop but he was forced away by Jin and fell to the sand. Jin's wife; Sun was screaming, and Jin forced Michael's head down into the sea water. Jade screamed and Sayid and Sawyer came charging down the beach towards the disturbance.

Sayid forced Jin off of Michael and kept his hold on him whilst Sawyer helped Michael up. Jade walked quickly down to the beach and to Walt who looked completely shocked at the violence. She helped him up.

"The Marshall's handcuffs…Now!" Sayid yelled. Sawyer tried to hand him them but Jin was thrashing around to much to do anything. It took the joint effort of both Sawyer and Sayid to subdue Jin and handcuff him to a bar of the fuselage from the plane. Jade watched as the others tried to question Jin but the only thing they could get out of him was Korean.

Michael and Walt walked away; Walt was talking so quickly it was hard to catch a single word. Shannon had come from somewhere and was alone, no sign of Boone anywhere. Jade sighed and turned away from the scene.

"Jade!" Someone called out. She turned around and saw Sawyer running towards her. A feeling of remorse and hate swept over her as he approached her, all she wanted to do was be alone again. "What." She said impatiently when he had come into close contact.  
"I really wanted to say…Well I didn't…I want a fresh start Jade." He said slowly, scratching the back of his head and looking around.

"What? After what happened yesterday I don't think so! I thought our past was behind us but then you bring up all that shit! You blew it Sawyer and you know you did." She spluttered, glaring at him.  
Sawyer shook his head. "Look, Jade, I didn't mean to, the words sorta slipped out. It's been so long since I saw you and I just thought…" He couldn't finish his sentence and Jade just waited.  
"See you can't finish your own sentences…Sawyer I hate you for what you did. You ruined my life!" She yelled, before turning away from him.

She felt a painful grip on her shoulder as Sawyer pulled her back. "I did NOT ruin your life! You did that yourself." He said, before pushing her away. Jade stared at him as he walked away and felt a tear slide down her cheek before she knew what was going on. She wiped it quickly away and ran in the opposite direction to him.

His words had hit her as fast as a bullet and it had dug deep inside her heart. She felt cold and numb and like she didn't belong anywhere on this Island…Let alone with Boone. Sadness welled up inside her as she ran to a deserted place on the Beach. She sat heavily on the sand and brung her knees up to her chin and hugged them as tears fell down from her azure blue eyes. She sat there crying for what seemed like hours until a voice suddenly broke the peaceful air.

"Jade?"

Jade stopped crying immediately and looked up to see Claire standing there with a bottle of water. "What's wrong." She said quickly, walking towards her and sitting down alongside her. Jade looked up into Claire's friendly face, and was on the verge of telling her everything; however, she held it back. "I just…hate being on this bloody Island." Jade replied, taking the bottle that Claire handed her. She opened it and took a long swag from it.  
"I think everyone does." Claire said, smiling. Jade laughed. "Thanks for the water Claire; I was dying for a drink."

"I take it there back then…Kate, Jack, Locke and Charlie." Jade asked, looking at her. Claire nodded. "Yeah, came back awhile ago. I figured you were missing and I came to look for you. You've been here awhile?" She asked.  
Jade nodded and looked across the horizon. "Claire…Do you think…That help is going to come?" She asked, feeling the question arise in her for the fifth time that day.

Claire looked slightly put-out by the question. "I always have hope." She said softly.


	7. Sorry Mum

__

Diary,

_Yesterday, well I can describe it one word. Terrible. I spoke to Sawyer again and well…we had another row and he said some things that really upset me. Mind I said some things that could of upset him too. I really out to of given him a chance, perhaps he has changed…I wouldn't know. I haven't seen him for five whole years._

_Claire's been so nice around me recently. I told her about me and Boone and she was so happy for me. She's been talking to me about Charlie, I think them two have something going on, if they have then that's great. At least she won't be completely alone at raising her baby._

_Jade_

Jade placed her pen down and closed her notebook. She was sitting in the shade of a dense patch of trees but not so she couldn't see the beach. Claire had gone to get them some water. They had been in a deep conversation, talking about Boone and Charlie for the past half hour. She enjoyed letting something off her chest, but that wasn't the only thing she wanted to talk about.

Sawyer and Jade hadn't seen eye to eye as soon as they spoke to each other on the Island, but last night was terrible. He had shouted and she had yelled back. They were like a married couple or something. She just wanted to share her thoughts with Claire, but she still didn't believe that it was time to talk about it just yet.

--

"Jade? Are you ok?" Jade's father had walked into her room to come and check up on her. Her mother was out on business again.

"I'm fine…Dad why don't you live here anymore?" Jade asked, looking up from her Geometry book to question him. Her dad gave her a significant look and walked to her bed, sitting down on the end.

"Me and your mother are having a little…trouble." Her dad explained, looking down at her cream carpet. Jade stared at him until he continued on with what he was saying.

"I think were going to get a divorce."

Jade took a few seconds to let this sink in. "Could I come live with you?" She said almost immediately, jumping off her bed to face him. Her dad's face dropped dramatically.

"I'm sorry…But…Your best of staying here, you've got your whole career ahead of you."

"And I can't follow that when I come to live with you?" Jade asked, furiously.

Her dad shook his head and simply looked up at her, with deepest regret etched in to every single line in his face. "I'm moving to England."

--

Jade looked up when Claire arrived with two cold water bottles for them both. Claire sat down slowly and then took a long drink from the bottle. Jade just stared at her bottle as her father's words kept repeating themselves in her head. "So what are you going to do about Boone then? Think you'll stay together if we get off this Island?"  
Jade turned to Claire and smiled. "I dunno…Reckon we will?" She asked blushing.

"I hope so!" She said laughing.

--

"Dad, you can't go!" Jade yelled down the phone as she had come rushing upstairs to phone him after she had another row with her mother. Tears poured down her azure eyes as she spoke. "Dad? DAD?" She screamed as the phone went dead. She held her mobile in her hand and just stared at it as she continued to cry.

Minutes turned in to hours as she sat on her bed, alone. The sky grew darker and her eyes redder as the feeling of imprisonment washed over her. She would have to stay in this bitch's hands until she was old enough to leave and fend for herself. As she moved to stand up and go to the lavatory her phone rang.

"Hello? Dad?" She answered quickly, hoping against hope it was him.

"_No it's James."_

"What?" Jade replied, feeling the tears and disappointment come flooding back over her.

"_You asked me for a favour remember." _

"Oh. Yeah." Jade felt a feeling of immense dislike and hatred. "I want you to do something really big for me."

--

Jade walked along the beach with Claire, who was talking about Charlie again. She smiled and nodded at times but wasn't really listening. She suddenly felt extremely distant with everyone on the Island, like she was alone just like in her memory. Jade shivered even in the unbearable heat as she looked across at the ocean. She didn't want to be rescued. Not anymore.

--

"Are you sure you want me to do this?" James asked her. Jade looked slightly hesitant but she had already made up her mind. "Do it."

Sawyer walked into the house and Jade moved quickly out of it, a silent tear fell as she walked down the path and into the darkness. She had told her mother that she was going to Australia to fulfil her Scholarship at Red Forest Forensic School. A taxi was waiting for her at the kerb and she pulled her suitcases into the back with the help from the driver. "Thanks…"

She entered the cab and turned to look at her house. She closed her eyes and the taxi driver turned to face her. "Where too then?"

"The Airport."

--

"Hey, Jade, are you listening?" Claire asked her as they had come to halt at the waters edge. Tears began to form in her eyes. "Jade? Jade! What's wrong?" Claire asked, putting an arm round her and looking to see if anyone was watching.

"Jade? Talk to me please!" Claire said, as they sat down together.

Jade stared off in the distance as the silent tears fell. She turned to Claire. "I did it." She said slowly. "I was the one that made it all happen in the first place."

Claire looked at her confused as the sentences made absolutely no sense. "Jade, what are you talking about?" Claire asked, literally begging her for answers.

Jade began to softly cry in her hands as her whole body began to shake with the memories beginning to haunt her.

"I told him to do it. I told him to kill her…"

Claire suddenly turned silent as she just watched Jade. Her eyes had widened and she was muttering the word 'kill' under her breath.

"My…Mother's dead because of me!" She screamed suddenly. Claire's eyes widened even more and seemed to be on the verge of falling out. She stood up and was staring at her, bewildered that she could do such a thing.

Jade stood up, her eyes red and puffy, whilst tears still ran down her cheeks. She stared back at Claire, before turning around and running down the beach, away from everyone. Away from the staring eyes.


	8. Reconciliation

Night had fallen rapidly around Jade as she sat facing the ocean, knees drawn up to her chest, eyes puffy and red from the countless number of tears that had fallen. The gentle sound of crashing water seemed to soothe her slightly, the cool salty breeze passing past her and causing her eyes to sting slightly as she stared out to sea. It was clear, cloudless night and she had spent a good few minutes staring up at the glinting, glittering stars above her and the many constellations they provided. However, she had done this so often since she had been on the island that it was barely something to keep her entertained. So instead, she stared along the horizon, expecting nothing but masses of black chilly water. She had long since gave up on what Claire said was 'Hope' that rescue would come. She had a feeling that the world had probably considered them dead, and maybe everyone was now continuing on with their lives as though nothing had really happened.

Nobody would even now Jade had gone missing. She hadn't made many friends whilst she was studying for her dream job of being a Forensic Scientist, and now they were probably studying for their exams not baring a second thought for her. She screwed up her face as this thought hit her with impact and a single very painful tear slid down her cheek. Brushing it away with her hand she heard movement behind her and felt the hairs on the back of her neck prickle uncomfortably.

Without further ado, Jade leapt to her feet and glared into the darkness of the dense jungle, not seeing anything in particular. Eyes darting rapidly in every direction, she saw something move on the outskirts of the jungle, heard the rustling of leaves. Heart pounding against her ribs, Jade began to retreat a little, taking a few steps back, still trying to see what the hell the thing was, whilst trying to remain calm.

What if it was a wild boar? She had heard Locke talk about them being their only source of food apart from fruit and fish. She had heard that they were pretty vicious and dangerous to approach, and she was unarmed and was an extremely easy target.

What if it was the mad and violent monster that had ripped up trees in the middle of the jungle causing the survivor's to look on in terror and fear? At this thought, Jade's heart literally skipped a beat, almost as though she had missed a step going downstairs.

She saw more movement, except this time there was the gentle thud of footsteps coming closer to her. Feeling a sense of calming relief, she continued to stare onwards until she heard a familiar voice speak out.

"Jade? Claire told me you were down here."

Rolling her eyes, Jade turned her back on Sawyer and sunk back down onto the sand, digging her hands into the still warm grains and keeping her eyes lowered down to her knees. She saw him out of the corner of her eye as he sat down beside her.

"She…Also told me what happened." He said firmly, his eyes fixed on her, but she was intent on not making eye contact and instead pretended to find the sand interesting whilst her continued. "Well actually, a lot of the people nearby heard you too."

Jade sniffed loudly but did not speak. She still felt quite angry towards Sawyer, but felt relieved and a little happy that she had some sort of company, even if it was with the person she disliked. Sawyer cleared his throat.

"Listen. I'm sorry for being a complete jerk ok? All I wanted was a fresh start and you couldn't give me that."

Jade could not ignore this comment. She raised her head and turned to gaze at him before she shook her head. "I shouldn't have done it…She was my mother, I was supposed to love her and care for her…" Jade replied, her voice was dry and slightly croaky, almost as though she had just regained the ability to speak just minutes before.

"The way she treated you Jade…" Sawyer interjected, staring at her with a saddened look, although Jade could not see it herself. "It was like you weren't her daughter at all, more like an obstacle that was always in the way,"

"She was still my Mom!" Jade retorted, her eyes threatening to fill with tears that felt impossible to come. "She brought me into this world and I took her out of it…What sort of daughter does that to their mother?"

"A desperate one!"

Silence draped across the scene like a heavy blanket and there it remained for a few minutes whilst Sawyer and Jade contemplated on what to say next. It felt to Jade, as though a blade had been permanently wedged inside her heart. She wished she could just have sunk into the sand, left the world for good herself. Rather that then feel the excruciating pain burning inside her.

"What's done is done Jade. You can't turn back the clock now," Sawyer said, breaking the uneasy and awkward silence. "You just gotta live everyday as it comes now…And that could be difficult with us being stuck on the same island and having to see each other everyday without fail…So let's just call a truce ok?"

Feeling as though he had a point, Jade slowly nodded her head and turned to Sawyer. "I didn't expect to see you here. It came as a surprise. I didn't think you'd booked the same plane."

"I wanted to see you Jade. I didn't want you to walk out of my life forever…There was…Stuff that needed to be kept behind." He added, now holding one of her hands in both of his own.

"So are we going to start afresh? Ignore the past…Move on?" Sawyer asked hopefully, squeezing her hand gently.

"I guess so." Jade replied quietly, now gazing back out across the ocean.


	9. Kate Austin

**  
Chapter 9 – Kate Austin**

Since Jade had revealed what had happened to her Mother, Claire had been unsurprisingly distant with her, but she had been fairly kind-hearted and generally considerate but Jade had not cared to elaborate on what had actually happened. She knew that she would have to soon, just to clear things up…But what with Sawyer being part of the murder, she would be putting him at risk too. So instead, she had left Claire to think she was some sort of raving lunatic, and now most of the time Jade would spend away from the others and keep to her own little part of the beach.

She and Sawyer were also spending increasing time with one another since their little truce on the beach three days before, and were now on proper speaking terms (they barely talked about their past anymore). Sawyer would always accompany her when she trekked away from the beach, but Jade felt as though this was better then sitting alone, in the blazing heat of the Sun, staring out at the empty horizon. The only reason why she did this now was because it was basically force of habit. She and Claire had spent most of their time sat at the edge of the beach looking to see if some sort of rescue was coming, and each time all they saw was endless blue sky. 

She knew deep inside that no-one was coming to help them, at least not anytime soon, and so Jade found herself sitting apart from the others once again, except the sky was no longer a peerless azure blue, and the Sun was no longer glaring down at them, reflecting it's rays upon the water. Instead, heavy grey clouds have covered it and there was a hint of thunder in the air. 

Not wanting to be sat soaked to the bone, Jade raised slowly to her feet. Sawyer had probably not realized that she had gone, but she found this a lousy reason since this was the only place she ever went now. She didn't like the idea of the other survivors staring at her, who knew how many other people had heard her revelation…She wasn't keen on people thinking she was some sort of psychopath.

"You've been coming out here a lot."

Jade flinched slightly out of shock and turned to see who had approached her. People had a tendency to creep up and jump out at her like that. The person ended up being Kate, someone she rarely talked to, she was reasonably shocked at seeing her standing there.

"I've seen you sneak off from the main part of the beach…Is there something wrong?" Kate asked, sitting down beside Jade and observing her closely. She noticed that her eyes travelled everywhere, from the pale face, to the worried eyes and to the flyaway hair that she hadn't bothered to sort out in the last three or four days.

"I would have thought that would've been a little obvious." She said quietly, looking away from Kate, she didn't like being surveyed like that…As thought she was seeing straight through her, almost x-raying her. "I'm surprised you didn't hear I bet it's been going around the camp like wildfire." She added quickly, bringing her knees up to her chest.

"What, the stuff about your past?"

Jade looked at Kate for a few seconds and then nodded her hand. Kate sighed a little and looked up at the grey sky. "Everyone has pasts Jade, memories that people don't want to share with anyone, memories that they would rather forget, but they will always be there." She explained, and the words seemed to actually make an impact on Jade. "It's said that we always remember the worst memories and we hardly ever remember the good ones… People try not to dwell on the bad memories; they try and get on with their lives. But deep inside your full of regret, full of despair."

Eyes stinging slightly, Jade nodded slowly and glared down at the sand, her hands had balled into fists and she found herself unable to talk, her throat had constricted and become exceptionally dry.

"What people heard the other day…You should realise that you don't have to explain to anybody what happened," Kate added hastily, still watching her. "Don't think that you owe them anything, because you don't. Were all strangers to each other, but I guess we do have to start co-operating and working together…It's just like Jack said…Just remember that people's perceptions shouldn't change on what happened from the past, it's what happens now that counts the most."

And with that Kate patted Jade gently on the shoulder and stood up and took her leave. Jade felt only a single tear glide gently down her cheek, and she cleared her throat. "Kate," She called out quickly.

Kate turned around to face Jade, who had now gotten to her own feet. "I've been an idiot haven't I?" Jade added weakly, giving her a small smile, which Kate returned. "You've been feeling ashamed, upset…It's easy to feel that way, especially when your forced to relive what…What happened." She said quietly, waiting for Jade who was now making her way over to her.

"I've been in the same boat Jade. Believe me,"

Reaching Kate, Jade studied her for a few more seconds, wondering what on earth she could have done to feel the same way…But she highly doubted Kate would elaborate just for her…Like she said, '_Don't think that you owe them anything, because you don't._'

So instead, Jade just followed Kate back up to the beach where everyone else was, aware that a few people were looking over at them. Heeding Kate's words, she raised her head and continued walking, not allowing the staring eyes to affect her, and then without a backwards glance, she sat down beside Claire Littleton who had been drinking from her water bottle. 

"Jade?" Claire started, but Jade quickly shook her head and took a deep breath. "Claire, I know that you've been supporting me since the start, that we've developed a…Well I hope I can call it this…A friendship." She started, trying to find the words.

"And I just want to say that I hope that my past, however difficult and complex it may be, that you don't change your perception on my just because of…"

"You killed your mother, Jade." Claire said shortly, glaring at Jade with her brow furrowed. Jade shook her head once again.

"You didn't get the whole story." She said simply, but Claire still looked slightly unnerved. "My mother abused me, Claire. She did it whilst she was with my Dad, and it only become more pronounced and much worse once he left….He left you know, just left for England and never made contact with us every again. Mom made out she wasn't even bothered. She'd work through most of the day, come home, smack me around a little then drink herself silly." 

Claire listened, and her stony expression softened slightly, but there was still a hint of blame in her gaze. 

"Her drinking problem caused her to get aggressive, and she often turned up with a hangover for work so she got fired from the job…Then the real stuff started to happen. It'd become a sort of therapy thing for her. Smack her daughter around, cause as much damage and pain as possible, then sleep or drink more. She blamed me for Dad leaving, and she blamed me for losing her job." She said coldly, averting her eyes away from Claire for a few seconds.

"I was in hospital for at least five days when she threw me downstairs…That's when the questions and interrogations started. I still loved her even though she caused so much pain…She had broken at least three bones whilst I was at home but I would always defend her, saying that they were just sporting accidents…After she pushed my downstairs though I decided I had had enough, I knew prison wouldn't have sorted it out."

Claire's face was changing ever so slowly, from being unnerved and slightly accusatory, to being sympathetic and pitiful…And now it was changing again to something like fear.

"I had to get her out of my life and she would never let me leave if she was in prison, she would just pressure me into visiting her…Put me into social care, I had no money. She had never given me any…She was basically bribing me at home, and then being sweet as pie at the Police Station. One night I realised the only option left was…" Jade trailed off and Claire nodded to note that she had understood. It was like she was telling some sort of horror story.

"I managed to steal some money out of her purse whilst she was drunk in a stupor, I got at least $600…God knows why she had that much in her purse. I arranged it. I got a taxi to the airport when it happened. I loved her, I cared for her too much for her to go to prison, and I couldn't leave her at home on her own…But then again I couldn't let myself go through the pain and torture. I was stuck in my own prison…The only option was death. It was either me, or her. If it was me, and I was to leave, I believed that Mom would have done something extreme. I believed that if I was to leave her too, then something inside her would just click and she might have slipped into insanity. I didn't want that. I wanted her to go quietly, just like she was sleeping, so it was peaceful…So she never felt a thing."

Still watching her, Claire was now quite pale and was still looking extremely sympathetic towards Jade, she could almost feel the pain it had inflicted upon Jade, could almost see the regret on her face.

"I left the house and ended up here…" She said, laughing hesitantly glancing up towards the darkening sky. "Not much of a consolation prize."

Claire laughed weakly too, but she could see that her tale had finally made some sort of sense, even if it was a tale of desperation, death and cruelty. Jade bit down on her lip as she recalled walking away from home once again as the realisation of what she was doing, dawned on her. 

"I've never escaped from my memories." Jade said quietly staring blankly out to sea. "No matter what I do, I can never lock them away, never forget them."

"You can never lock away the worst events in your life." Claire said finally. "Life is just a rollercoaster of mistakes, and it's bound to get worse before it gets better."

* * *

_Please read & review. It's always nice to get comments for your work _


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